You might already be practising to be a better person, we all are struggling to be good especially when we do not get the same response back. But it is not about being perfect, we cannot ever be perfect or have these traits but we can have a good intention and try our best. I have mentioned few personality traits below that will help us to become a better person. Always remember that being good does not mean getting the appreciation or being loved by other humans. You might be the best person yet there will be some group of people who will not like you. Be good because you are a good person. Be good for the sake of God. Be good because you want to go to heaven. There will always a motive of being good just make sure the motive is not to be liked by other humans or so they can be good to you back.
We all know honesty is the best policy but do we know why? Lying might be easy for the time being but how many more lies will we say to cover up that one lie? If you are honest, people would trust you, if you are honest you will not have that guilt in you heart that you are doing something wrong. I don’t mean be so honest that you hurt other peoples feelings. Lying should only be fine to promote harmony between spouses, to make peace between two quarrelling parties (groups of people). Silence is better when you do not want to hurt people with your words. We all want to meet honest people in our life, but then we complain that honesty does not exist in this world anymore. But how many of us are willing to be honest? There is a difference between being blunt and honest, we can be blunt easily but we cannot be honest. Being blunt is when you get your point across without caring about the other persons reaction or feelings. Then when the other person gets hurt, we would say “truth is harsh” or “Im just saying the truth”. When you are honest then you are honourable in your words and action, you would say the truth even if it against you but your truth will not hurt the other person. You would rather be silent than hurt other people. Now would you rather be honest or blunt?
The Prophet Muhammad (Peace be upon him) said: “Honesty certainly leads to goodness, and goodness leads to paradise.
Consideration includes kindness towards EVERYONE especially children, elderly and women. Why children because they deserve to be loved, they are made to be taken care of, anyone who is mean to the children does not even deserved to be called a human. Elderly deserve that a little more consideration too because firstly thats what islam teaches us but also because elderly can be delicate in terms of emotions and physical needs. They require as much attention as children. Woman deserve the extra consideration too as you are in this world because of a woman, she takes care of you and loves you unconditionally in a form of a mother, sister, daughter and a wife. We should be considered towards everyone because we are human beings, lets spread kindness and humanity across the globe.
Modesty includes the way you dress, your actions when you are alone and in public, how you make others feel about you. In Islam, male and female are meant to dress modestly where the female is told to “draw their head-coverings over their chests” (24:30-31), and “and they are to draw their veils (khumur) over their heads and chests (juyūb) and not to reveal their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband’s fathers, their sons, their husband’s sons, their brothers or their brother’s sons, or their sister’s sons…” (An-Nūr 24:31). This means that women are told to cover their body, they are suppose to wear loose clothes that does not reveals their body shape and not supposed to wear see-through clothing. Men are also told “The lower garment of the believer should come to the mid-calf, but there is no sin on him if it comes between that point and the ankle. But whatever is lower than the ankle is in the Fire.” Also Allah instructed the men, “To lower their gaze from looking at women with desire other than their wives, and to protect themselves from fornication. That is purer for them.” (An-Nūr 24:30) A person should not dress modestly and have absurd speech, the good speech should come with the modest clothing. A female should also lower her gaze in public and while she is alone using social media.
Mary (Maryam AS) also known as virgin Mary is mentioned in the Quran and the Bible, she is known for her chastity. “How can I have a son when no man has touched me nor have I been unchaste?”’ (Qur’an, 19:20). She is the perfect example of purity and modesty, she had modesty in her speech yet she was tested with this quality of hers. She was accused of being unchaste when she did not let any man touch her. She did not use any type of absurd language that would attract the opposite sex.
‘‘Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.”(Surah An- Nur 24:30).
This means meet people with smile, treat them in such a way that they like being with you, treat them in a way that rest of their day goes good because of you. Show them a different side of this world that kindness can exist. Be gentle towards other people that they want to be with you.
“I have never seen a man who smiled as much as the Messenger of Allah.” (Tirmidhi)
This might be the most difficult thing for our generation, we hold grudges and don’t forgive people. We want to see them suffer but in fact you are the only one who gets hurt. They might be feeling guilty for the time being but they move on eventually. Learn to forgive people as quick as you expect others to forgive you. We all make mistakes, we do hurt people on purpose or without acknowledgement too. None of us are perfect here. Forgive others even if they have been lying to you for years, forgive others if they have physically hurted your keen, forgive others because you are not perfect yourself. Be merciful towards others and you will receive mercy, forgive others and God will forgive you.
The video below is a perfect living example of forgiveness, over 33M views so you must have come across this. People are commenting and praising her for her big heart. But remember she is a normal human being too like us, if she can do it. Why can’t we?
Just how we cannot put tag on people because of their negative qualities, there should not be a tag on people because of positive. We all are struggling here to be a better person, to survive in this world without harming others and our mental health. These personality traits are promoted in Islam but I am sure all religions want one thing that is peace! Thank you