Difference between Self-Love and Selfishness

Self-love means acceptance of yourself. You accept your flaws and you are not ashamed of them. Being selfish is hating yourself enough to not care about other people or yourself.


When you self-love you encourage trust, love within yourself and around you. You will accept that people do need to take time out to keep themselves sane. When you love yourself, you will accept your strengths and weakness and strive to be a better person each day. You understand that others are trying to do the same thing. But if someone does make any mistake then you’ll forgive them.

Self-love is about forgiving others and yourself. You do not need a reason to do a good deed or brag about your good deeds or your talent. You will know that there is still room for improvement. You will not think that you are good- looking, smart or talented because you will be modest and humble in the first place. You do not need to show off because self love is a personal journey about your growth. It is not about receiving others’ appreciation. Self-love increases your confidence, self-worth and you will feel more positive about yourself. You will not worry about what others think of you because they do not know your journey, your struggles. The best thing about loving yourself is that you will make peace with your past, you will not worry about anything you have said or done in the past because it is gone. It should remain there and not affect your present.


Selfishness is when you prioritize your needs, thoughts and feelings at the expense of everyone else’s. There are different levels of selfishness in people. Usually, extremely selfish people selfish over a certain thing they care deeply about. Selfish people think they are the best already. They are after appreciation from other people and if they do not get the appreciation, they start to defend themselves without letup and argue. The most extreme selfish people do not feel any empathy, they are self-centred meaning they will only focus on getting what they want for themselves. Usually, such people show off and want to make others feel low so they can feel good about themselves.

My experience

It is not easy to love yourself especially when you make a lot of mistakes, when you hurt other people, when you upset the people that you love. During college, I think I was self-obsessed. That is what my friends told me. I used to praise myself unnecessarily. I think I was just trying to make myself feel good about myself. Then reality hit me hard when my crush said that I was self- centred didn’t care about anyone else. Maybe I was like that, I don’t know. I started to hate myself and I never praised myself after that or accepted other people’s praise. Eventually, when I got over that past, I got over that self-hatred. I learned to accept that other people do not define me. (There is a quote related to this, I will post this on my Instagram) I began to love myself when I started to discover the type of person I am, what and why I do a certain thing. I realised that I can make mistakes too, I accepted myself with my flaws. I am still trying to become a better person but I will not hate myself for any mistakes or sins. Honestly, there are still days when I require extra love, the days I feel low and I hate myself. The days I cannot see any good in myself. On those days, my friends are there to make me realize my worth.

Initially, I was going to write why you should love yourself but I guess I was confused between being selfish and self-love so I decided to research about that and write about it. I hope you have learned something from this blog too. It is fine to self-love! Love yourself enough to accept your flaws!

Thank you for reading!

And Thank you Simon for editing this!🖤

Published by blogsabeera

An Aspiring writer and science teacher, I write to express my thoughts and feelings. I teach to inspire the next generation and make a difference in this busy world.

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